


Where The Willow Don't Bend

by MollyMaryMarie



Series: Wolfstar Prompts [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Character Death, Hogwarts ghost, Not Canon Compliant, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23554885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MollyMaryMarie/pseuds/MollyMaryMarie
Summary: Sirius regrets all the time he wasted not touching Remus when Remus unexpectedly becomes one of the ghosts at Hogwarts.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1698766
Comments: 26
Kudos: 113





	Where The Willow Don't Bend

**Author's Note:**

> I've just reached a place  
> Where the willow don't bend  
> There's not much more to be said  
> It's the top of the end  
> I'm going  
> I'm going  
> I'm gone

“You know, that would be a lot easier to read if you turned it the right way round,” he heard an ethereal voice echo from behind him. A soft smile passed over his aristocratic features, making them seem a little less sharp, a little less splintery. His silver eyes swirled white, even the thick, dark circles underneath his eyes brightened for a moment.

When Sirius turned, Remus stood there. No, that wasn’t quite right – Remus didn’t stand any more. It was an ominous sort of hover underneath where his feet should’ve been. Sometimes he could conjure something that looked like his feet, sometimes it seemed like he really _was_ standing there, like he wasn’t translucent in the moonlight, like Sirius could reach out and touch him. Other times it looked like it took all of his strength just to stay.

He wasn’t sure about the magic of how this worked – did it _take_ magic? Was it hard on Remus to stay here? Would it be easier to – Sirius didn’t know how to phrase it – _pass on_?

With his eyes set on Remus’, the expression on Remus’ face tightened, like he actually had muscles and skin to tighten. Soundlessly, Remus moved in, holding out his hands as if he meant to take Sirius’ face in them. Neither of them had really gotten used to this distance yet.

Sirius wasn’t sure if he ever would. Only a month ago, he could’ve held Remus in his arms, he could’ve traced over the freckles on his shoulder, he could’ve kissed his lips, soft and sweet as they must’ve been. He _could’ve_ done those things, but he hadn’t. It seemed so silly now, being afraid of telling Remus how he felt, now that it almost didn’t matter.

“You look tired,” Remus whispered, his voice crackling like a flame that might go out without a single moment’s notice. Just as his life had, with no warning, with no ceremony.

“Can’t you come haunt the dorm? Haunt my bed?” Sirius scoffed with an irritated laugh.

Remus smiled and Sirius could see through it. “Maybe eventually. I’m working my way up the Hogwarts ghost corporate ladder. I expect to get holiday pay and benefits any day now.”

Sirius laughed loudly to cover up the sob forming in the back of his throat. “Still so clever, even after …” He stopped himself short. They didn’t talk about what happened to Remus. They didn’t talk about who tampered with Remus’ wand, because they never really found out the truth. They didn’t talk about the _Diffindo_ that went traumatically wrong. They never talked about the way Sirius held Remus, both of them covered in the blood flooding from Remus’ throat, as Sirius confessed for the first time how in love he was with Remus, only as Remus lay dying.

“I’m still me, Pads,” Remus sighed, and Sirius couldn’t feel the pressure of breath that should have accompanied it, couldn’t taste the chai always on Remus’ tongue. “I’ve just reached a place where the willow don’t bend,” he grinned fully, quoting one of Sirius’ favourite songs, almost in an effort to prove that he was still _Remus_ , that the years he’d spent with Sirius had been real, that they could still be something, despite this distance.

“I know, Moony,” Sirius said, hanging his head. When Remus had come back, that was the happiest that Sirius had felt in days. But when he realized he couldn’t touch him, couldn’t kiss him, couldn’t even _smell_ him – it only got harder after that. More than once, Sirius had considered the idea of _joining_ Remus, but the uncertainty of how and _if_ he would come back at all kept him from acting. That, and Remus would have never forgiven him.

“I’m working on extending my reach to the dorms. It’ll be like I never left,” Remus said, and it looked like he was kneeling in front of the chair in which Sirius sat.

“Until the end of the year, when I leave Hogwarts and never come back,” Sirius exhaled heavily, burying his face into his hands as he felt the tears returning. They returned a lot, lately.

“Then I’ll find a way to haunt your flat,” Remus grinned optimistically, leaving a residual smile in the corner of Sirius’ lips. “I think me being in love with you might give me an anchor,” he reasoned, shrugging shoulders without weight. “Maybe I just go where you go.”

Sirius looked up, eyes shining. “Then stay with me forever, Remus.”

“Eternity and a day,” Remus promised with a warm smile, leaning in close. And Sirius could _swear_ he felt the delicate brush of Remus’ lips against his, the scent of chai in the air.

Years later, Sirius sat still in the dark. Everything was cold around him, the spray of sea salt drifting in through the slats of his cell. The Dementors were on their way, Sirius could feel the icy chill of their flight, could feel the dread of their presence.

A trembling, shaking breath drew into his lungs as he steadied himself for their work against him, for what he would see and what he would feel. Now, it wasn’t just Remus’ death that he had to relive night after night, it was James and Lily’s. It was Peter’s, despite his betrayal.

With his eyes screwed tight, Sirius let out the same breath. Another breeze crossed through and Sirius physically startled at the warmth of it. Eyes blinking against the inky darkness that surrounded him, he looked up into the face of Remus Lupin, his hand on Sirius’ shoulder.

“Stay with me, love,” Remus said, moving his hand to Sirius’ cheek, and it wasn’t ephemeral or composed of imagination and mist. No, Sirius could _feel_ it, he could feel the calloused brush of Remus’ thumb across his jaw, he could feel Remus’ fingers tighten at his neck.

“ _Moony_ ,” Sirius breathed out, in awe of his presence.

“I’m sorry it took me so long,” he smiled. When he leaned in, he was there, _really_ there, with his lips moving steadfast to Sirius’ own, his hands winding into Sirius’ hair. “I’m here now.”

“You go where I go, right?” A peace that Sirius had never known washed over him, but it was short-lived as screaming from the cell just next to his shattered their serenity.

“Focus on me, Sirius,” Remus said with determination in his voice, kneeling in front of Sirius and taking his face into hands made of light. “The Dementors are coming now, and they will try to take you away from me. But you promised. You _promised_ you’d stay with me forever.”

Sirius let his eyes flutter closed, centering on the sweetness of Remus’ voice, the warmth of his touch, the chai on his breath. The Dementors drew close. “Eternity and a day.”

**Author's Note:**

> I would love to hear your comments, or you can send me a shout on tumblr [@mollymarymarie](https://mollymarymarie.tumblr.com/) ❤️


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